A Year On
by haveyouseenmyhaggis
Summary: Ianto has been in Torchwood for a year now. Jack calls him to talk it over. Janto. A bit fluffy really, with a handful of angst. Written for my fanfic accounts first birthday! Yay!


**Title: A Year On**

**Summary: Ianto has been in Torchwood for a year now. Jack calls him to talk it over. Janto. A bit fluffy really with a handful of angst.**

**Author's Note: I wrote this to celebrate my FanFiction account being one year old today. I was happy when I left a message on forum and my icon had changed. Made my day. I'd been doing homework all day and then I got a legitamate reason to write something!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Torchwood. _I am only an over obsessive fan girl.**

**

* * *

**

Ianto was busy going through paperwork in the boardroom. He was trying to keep his mind from wandering but he was failing miserably. Suddenly the door opened behind him and he stopped writing.

"Jack wants you in his office," Owen said casually.

Ianto looked round suspiciously. "Why?"

"Dunno," Owen shrugged. Ianto sighed and laid pen down and stood up. He walked slowly out of the room with his mind racing with possibilities of what the hell he could have done for Jack to need to speak to him. Or this could just be Jack being… well, Jack. However, Ianto had a strong feeling this meeting was going to about the topic he'd been stubbornly trying to avoid all day.

He reached Jack's office and knocked lightly on the door.

"Come in," Jack called and Ianto took a deep breath and went into the office. Jack was standing beside a filing cabinet looking through various folders. He smiled warmly as Ianto walked in and shut the door.

"What is it?" the young Welsh man asked quietly. Jack looked at his employee for a moment and told him to sit down. Ianto did so and waited impatiently to find out what his boss wanted.

"You know you've been working in Torchwood for a year now?" Jack said after a short pause.

"Oh…?" he replied in a forced politeness. He knew _exactly _what day it was but he had been determined not to think about it. He didn't want to go over the times they'd had together recently; yes there'd been good times but with all of those there had been the bad. He'd been through them once and he didn't need to go back.

"Don't pretend you didn't know," Jack said softly. The Captain sat down on the desk in front of Ianto and the young Welshman couldn't fail to notice the sparkle in his pale eyes, "I've noticed. You've been trying not to remember it, haven't you?"

"I wasn't pretending," Ianto lied, looking at the ground. Jack raised his eyebrows and reached a hand out and took the other man's chin and tilted his head upwards. His touch sent a small shiver through the younger man's body and he suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to be held by Jack for all of time. Jack was safe; he could trust him.

"You don't need to hide from me, Ianto," Jack said sincerely.

"I'm-," Ianto made to protest but Jack cut across him.

"I mean it Ianto, I'm not gonna judge you!" he said firmly. There was something in the Captain's voice that made Ianto trust him.

"I…" Ianto mumbled before giving up with trying to hide his feelings and letting the tears fall down his face. Jack jumped down off the desk and knelt down beside Ianto and took his hand.

"It's alright to feel like this," he said gently. Jack could relate to the mess of confused feelings the younger man was feeling about his job. Torchwood was the best job most of them could ever want but the dark side of the job made it one of the worst.

"I'm scared Jack…" Ianto admitted helplessly. It felt good to say it out loud; it meant he no longer had to battle this fear on his own. Jack would always be there to hold his hand and help him. "This job... It takes over everything in your life!"

"I'm scared too," Jack said. He didn't often admit that.

"Really?" Ianto asked, surprised. He often found it hard to imagine Jack his carefree, happy-go-lucky leader being frightened.

"Of course I am," Jack said, "I'm scared of losing you and the others. I'm scared of this job in a way."

Ianto nodded, "Yeah…" he mumbled, "Scares me too."

"The job or losing the team?"

"Both," Ianto said as he wiped at the tears forming in his eyes, "Just gets to you, this job."

"I know," Jack said. He wasn't too sure what else to say. He didn't like seeing Ianto upset like this.

"It's just after everything that's happened it's hard to think about carrying on in this job," Ianto babbled. He suddenly had a need to tell Jack everything, "And I've seen things… I've seen things I could never imagine."

"So have I," Jack said, "Believe me, Ianto, I'm the man who can never die! I've seen a hell of a lot."

"Gets to you after a while," Ianto sighed, shutting his eyes and letting Jack help him to his feet.

"But you can't walk away," Jack said, more of a statement than anything else.

"No…" Ianto whispered, opening his eyes. Jack put his arms around the other man and held him close. Ianto breathed in the soft smell he was so used to and buried his head in the Captain's neck.

"And you can't run away from Torchwood, no matter how much you try," Jack said, more to himself than to Ianto.

"And you're not gonna leave me?" Ianto asked, suddenly fearful. He didn't want to lose Jack; he _couldn't _lose Jack.

"No, I won't," Jack said as the other man looked at him with a small smile of relief. The Captain grinned and Ianto felt his heart racing as it always did when he saw that smile. He had to admit, Jack's smile was one of the things that made Torchwood worth the pain.

Jack leaned forward slowly and pressed a gentle kiss to the other man's lips and Ianto tightened his grip around the Captain's waist. Jack grinned. Rare moments of smiles were worth a lifetime of tears.

"So, you're not planning on leaving?" Jack asked carefully. He just had to hear Ianto say it.

"No," Ianto whispered quietly, "Never."

Jack's smile made Ianto's heart melt and Ianto knew Torchwood was where he belonged. He couldn't walk away from this because this was his life now. Where else could he go? He'd be given Retcon and wouldn't be able to remember any of this. He'd never know anything different but he'd have erased half his life and he'd have to start all over again.

There are some things in life that you can never erase and Jack Harkness was one of those things.


End file.
